Chris Russell is afraid of cranes, hates construction and progress

Ben Krimmel
July 14, 2019 - 6:47 pm
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"Why are you the way that you are?" Michael Scott said.

A question that many have asked of 106.7 The Fan's Chris Russell before. There are numerous theories and little definitive answers.

This weekend on Overtime there may have been at least a partial answer: Russell is a prosophobic.

This is not a real diagnosis from a medical professional, so take this with a grain of salt, but it seems very likely that the Rooster has a fear of progress. That is to say, he is a person who is fearful about the effects of change and how new advances can ruin his life. Doesn't that sound like Russell?

On Saturday, his phobia manifested itself in yet another rant about construction and the many cranes around The Fan's offices in Southeast D.C.  "It is just a war zone. I mean there's just things swaying (unintelligible) literally right outside of our window," Russell said.

Chris Russell hates sports celebrations and fun in general

"It's absurdly insane, I mean it really is," he said about the level of progress being made around the area. "There is literally no more room to build anything around here."

Does the Rooster suffers from claustrophobia as well?

When his co-host Thom Loverro expressed incredulity about who might live in these new apartments being built in a city with not enough affordable housing, Russell decided to take a shot at young people, for reasons passing understanding.

"Well, you know it is the yuppie, Millennial thing to do to move to Southeast D.C.," he said.

Young people? Blah. Progress? Nope. Building? Nah, not interested in that, Russell says.

Another theory is the root cause of Russell's fear of progress comes from fear of being crushed by a construction crane.

"I'm petrified. You know I'm scared of construction cranes," he said Saturday.

Supporting this theory is the many instances Russell has tweeted about them in recent months. 

This fear is not rational as the Rooster does many more dangerous things. 

While it would be wrong to offer cures without the proper medical background, but one solution to Russell overcoming his fear of cranes would be to face it head-on and go up to the top of a construction crane. (Can anybody out there make this happen?)

Of course, hours later on Saturday, a new theory emerged: Russell is not truly fearful of cranes or progress, but is only acting out as a means of garnering attention.

"I've decided what Chris Russell is, he actually loves the pain of getting ripped on Twitter," Nick Ashooh said during Bit Day. "Twitter is his dominatrix. He loves just getting destroyed by people on twitter." 

So there's that theory, too.

The truth is out there, perhaps it will reveal itself soon.

Follow @BenKrimmel and @1067theFan on Twitter and Instagram.

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