Producers Call Out The Junks For Too Much Tiger Talk

Chris Lingebach
March 09, 2018 - 2:30 pm
EB_Junkies_Yelling
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Tiger Woods lifted his comeback tour to new heights Friday, co-leading after the second round of the Valspar Championship.

The Sports Junkies, you might be surprised to learn, rigged an Apple TV in studio to follow along, and offered frequent on-air updates throughout Tiger's outing.

After three hours of the Tiger Tracker, Drab and Matt Valdez started to feel like The Junks were more engaged in watching Tiger than, ya know, talking on their radio show. And, reportedly, station management decided to get involved. Which eventually led to a whole mountain of Rickness.

JP: By the way, we should say this, because we are open. We don't lie on the show. Very few times does management get involved with what we do on the show. And this doesn't affect Cakes or I, but management apparently shut down the Apple TV viewing of the Valspar.

EB: Well, they can't shut down what I do on my computer, so they can do whatever they want. I'm sorry CK's not a golf fan.

Valdez: Well, I would agree that the show's kind of devolved into watching Tiger.

EB: Hey! You know what? Twenty-two years of doing this, we know how to make the show work. That's what I would say.

Bish [laughing>: I knew that was coming!

EB: If CK wants to come in here and debate it, he can. But the show is successful for a reason. What I would say is, if you don't like it, don't rehire us. That's what I would say. That's what I would say. If you don't like it, don't rehire us.

Drab: Rick. You don't have to get so angry.

EB: Well, you're touching a nerve!

JP: I didn't have to bring it up, but I figured I'd bring it up.

Drab: JP, I don't know why you brought that up. That was so dumb. JP is just an idiot for bringing that up.

JP: Why? It's good radio!

Bish: Awkward radio is great radio!

EB: Listen. I know for a fact, I know what works.

Drab: You can be mad. You're wrong at the wrong person. It's not CK; it's all of us talking about the show.

EB: Well, just because you're not into it... The show has been the same show for 22 years!

Bish: It's not Valdez. Valdez loves talking about Tiger.

Valdez: No, I totally agree. But we can't comment on every single shot on Tiger.

EB: It's kind of a bit! We're kind of doing a bit! Just because you're not in on it! We're doing a bit! I'm ringing the bell saying I'm horny! It's a whole thing! We know what we're doing!

Drab: I think most of the time you know what you're doing. I think sometimes you get sidetracked.

EB: I always know what I'm doing. And the proof is in the pudding. And if you don't like it, quit, or don't hire us. You know, contract's up!

Drab: So now we have to quit if we think that you guys aren't doing your best show, because you're distracted by the TV.

EB: Well, by the way, that's not what was told to us. We were told that someone was told not to ever bring it in. So...

Bish: Yeah. Why don't you tell the truth, Valdez?

Valdez: Well, that was, uh, suggested to me. And I agree.

Bish: That wasn't suggested. It was ordered.

Some other joan highlights:

EB: We talked about pooping! We talked about a million things today!

Drab: Jason's not interested in the show unless we're talking about Tiger. He's sending us text messages that say, 'I thought this was a sports show.' So any time that we're not talking about Tiger, he's punching out. He's bitter.

Bish: No, I didn't say that. I said 'pretty good sports show.'

Drab: Okay, because we talked about haircuts for five minutes.

Bish: Yeah. That doesn't interest me. Pooing doesn't interest me. Do I like to do it? Yes. Do I like to talk about it? No!

Drab: Jordan Spieth shooting two-over doesn't 98 percent of the people listening on the radio!

Bish: Twenty-two years! Twenty-two years! How many years have you been doing radio?!

EB: We know what we're doing. We made it interesting.

Drab: Then you don't need producers! What are we here for?

EB: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hold on! Hold on! Hold on! I'm gonna say something very honest. We don't need producers. We need guest-bookers. We don't need producers. That's the honest truth. If you think -- I mean, I don't want to be hurtful -- but, I mean, you think this show can't produce itself?

 ...

Valdez: We had a fine time the last time he played and he teed off in the morning. We did a show, for some reason. But today, we have to cut in to every single segment with an update!

EB: He's one back from the leader. It's international news.

Valdez: Look. You guys have done radio for 22 years. I've been in radio for 10 years, so I can kind of figure out what's good and what's bad.

EB: In your opinion. Yeah. I'll take my 22 over your 10.

...

Drab: Essentially they were saying it was a subpar show, that we were losing audience, and that people were going to another station.

EB: Drab, do you guys want to defend your position?

Drab: I think it was a subpar show, and I think the people who are on our side are listening to The Team right now.

EB: Really? Wanna bet?

Cakes: Look at their numbers. The numbers say otherwise!

After taking a slew of complimentary calls, JP sniped, "One more. I know we're backed up. I'm just waiting for the vote for the producers." 

"Yeah, is somebody gonna vote for them?" EB asked.

"Check Twitter," Drab recommended.

 So I pulled a random sampling of @JunksRadio's Twitter mentions during the segment.

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