Landfill quits 'Fast Food Piñata'

Chris Lingebach
June 01, 2018 - 5:56 pm


Around May 2017, an ingenious idea was born, one which would match man with destiny. Fridays haven't been the same at 3:45 since.

Today, a little over a year after Landfill's "Fast Food Piñata" debuted, its founder announced he is quitting the wildly popular weekly "Chad Dukes vs. The World" segment.

Dukes broke the disheartening news to his audience Friday, with Tom Daly in studio as a last-minute Piñata replacement. It all started with a disagreement over coffee.

Dukes: To which then Broc Leesnar says, 'Hey Dukes, this isn't the type of guy you can give a segment on your show to if he's gonna act this way.'

Dukes: Landfill says, 'Oh, please. Yeah. Take that away, too. That would be the best thing in my life.' THE FAST FOOD PIÑATA! That we built into this huge thing, that's -- I don't know -- I thought something fun, a way to get a little run on the radio.

Daly: People love it. People tweet about it. People are into it.

Dukes: They are. Well, one person isn't into it.

Daly: Landfill helps people eat fast food through The Piñata.

Dukes: Right, but here's what you need to know about me, Thommy. I need to drag somebody onto the air like I need a hole in my head. There's 750,000 people I've encountered that would desperately want to be on the radio. If you're not one of them, trust and believe I can fill four and a half hours. It's not a problem. So he got all snarky, and I said, 'Fine. Done. You don't have to do the Fast Food Piñata. If you don't want to do it, I certainly don't want anybody on that air that doesn't want to be on the air.'

Dukes: And he's like, 'Eh, okay. Well I don't want to do it.'

Dukes: I'm like, 'Alright, dude. That's it. You're done. Finished. Over.'

Dukes: And then Broc comes in here, crawling on his belly like a lizard, saying, 'You should give Landfill back the Fast Food Piñata.'

Dukes: I was like, 'Dude. I just showed up to work.' That's all I did. I didn't want to fire him from the Fast Food Piñata today on a Friday. I like the Fast Food Piñata. It was my idea.

Reached for comment, Landfill was oddly vague about why he chose to quit his marquee segment.

"All good things must come to an end," he told me. But why now? "It was just time."

It just doesn't make sense, a man rejecting something he was born to do. A man with fast food in his soul.

At one point, he had gone to separate Outbacks for three consecutive Bloomin' Mondays. That was one hell of a run for Kevin Harvick.

The Fast Food Piñata was more than a segment about fast food. It was informative, keeping the Beltway abreast of deals that could feed them while keeping some of their hard-earned money in their pockets.

Like the deal at Outback Steakhouse, which offered a free Bloomin' Onion the Monday after each race in which Kevin Harvick finished in the top ten. Or Little Caesars, offering a free lunch combo with a Pepsi if a 16-seed beat a 1-seed in the NCAA Tournament, something that had literally never happened before, until this year.

It was interactive, inviting listeners to take part in the process themselves and follow the journey online as well.

Whoops. How'd that get in there?

Landfill extended his warmest gratitude to all the Piñataites, but says he does not anticipate tweeting about fast food anymore.

Management was unable to comment on the active personnel issue. A source close to the situation says it is "far from settled."

Discontinued until further notice.

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